At the end of the day

#LesMis fever.

At the end of the day I'm still single.
I'm sitting on my bed alone.
With my laptop above my lap.
Which is why they call it laptop.
And I'm sleepy.
And I can't think.
But I'm having a LesMis fever.
So I'll type until I done.
At the end of the day.

I just wanted to type.

I'm having a pain. A kind of pain at the right upper part of my forehead. I can feel the blood pumping to that region whenever I stand up. Is that due to postural hypotension? Being a medical student. I think every medical student have this problem. Thinking that they have problem? That they are sick? I can't wait to get my full body check up There must be something wrong with me. No body is perfect. No body is perfectly healthy. The more you know, the least healthy you think you are. I need help.

This is why I can't stop typing. The pain is so distracting that I need to heard the sound made by the keyboard when I'm typing. I need some sound. The clickedy clack sound that will keep my mind off about the pain. I don't want to feel the pain. I can friggin' feel that blood pumping. How disturbing is that?

I can't even sit down and watch an episode of drama without feeling pain. I don't want to feel the pain. Please make it stop. I've been having migraine twice a day and I hate it. Can this be due to exams? Or it's just me. I'm so unhealthy. I have an unhealthy body, I have an unhealthy mind, I have an unhealthy heart.

I need help.

what is the best way to die?

I don't know what is the best way to die, but I'm sure as hell I don't want to die in pain. Pain, the thing that make people feels unease, uncomfortable. I don't want to die in pain. 

If I am to commit suicide, I'll inhale carbon monoxide. 

But the best way to die, is to die in sleep. When you are old. When your heart decide to stop beating. That's the best way to die. Natural death.