You taught me to press the icon that I'll never press.

Thank you so much for the paper plane. I love it. It will be in a very pretty file very soon. Once I reach, I'll get in touch with you all. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I'm coming home

I can’t wait to be back. I’m sitting in the airport now, waiting for the time to pass. It’s 11am right now and my flight is at 5.15pm.  So many hours to go and yet, I can almost feel Malaysia. I can’t wait to send my huge luggage into the cargo so that I can go shopping or window shopping with my smaller bag. I’ll be patient and I’ll wait.

P/s: this is the first time that I'm using BIAL's wi-fi. 

xoxo

Tonight, I won't be sleeping on the hostel bed.

Why? Cause I'm going back to Malaysia la. Duh...

Not to be rude, but 2nd year is so frigggin' hectic and it's all about self-studying. For the Nth time, I said, I don't read! *RAWR*

Since I'm going back and I'm done packing and my luggage is not overweight, I'm a happy kid. Very very happy. ;)

See you Manipal, hello Malaysia! :D

At the end of the day

#LesMis fever.

At the end of the day I'm still single.
I'm sitting on my bed alone.
With my laptop above my lap.
Which is why they call it laptop.
And I'm sleepy.
And I can't think.
But I'm having a LesMis fever.
So I'll type until I done.
At the end of the day.

I just wanted to type.

I'm having a pain. A kind of pain at the right upper part of my forehead. I can feel the blood pumping to that region whenever I stand up. Is that due to postural hypotension? Being a medical student. I think every medical student have this problem. Thinking that they have problem? That they are sick? I can't wait to get my full body check up There must be something wrong with me. No body is perfect. No body is perfectly healthy. The more you know, the least healthy you think you are. I need help.

This is why I can't stop typing. The pain is so distracting that I need to heard the sound made by the keyboard when I'm typing. I need some sound. The clickedy clack sound that will keep my mind off about the pain. I don't want to feel the pain. I can friggin' feel that blood pumping. How disturbing is that?

I can't even sit down and watch an episode of drama without feeling pain. I don't want to feel the pain. Please make it stop. I've been having migraine twice a day and I hate it. Can this be due to exams? Or it's just me. I'm so unhealthy. I have an unhealthy body, I have an unhealthy mind, I have an unhealthy heart.

I need help.

what is the best way to die?

I don't know what is the best way to die, but I'm sure as hell I don't want to die in pain. Pain, the thing that make people feels unease, uncomfortable. I don't want to die in pain. 

If I am to commit suicide, I'll inhale carbon monoxide. 

But the best way to die, is to die in sleep. When you are old. When your heart decide to stop beating. That's the best way to die. Natural death. 

Dreamed of you

I dreamed of you today morning and that causes me to wake up late and don't have enough time to study for Forensic medicine paper. Are you that important to me? The only thing I know is that I really want to talk to you. We share more mutual friends than any other people but we aren't talking. Isn't this crazy?
One day, I hope we are really really good friend. :)

The fine line between being friends or being a couple.

We are friends. Maybe we like each other, but we don't dare to cross the line. The line that you stay friends or you become a couple. We both don't have the gut to risk it. You have someone you like in your course. I use to have someone I like in my course. Can a future engineer be with a future doctor? Is there a future between us? I'll be working all day and night, you'll be at home, eating beef?! I don't eat beef.

I don't mind us being together at this point but if we are getting together, a long distance relationship will begin. I don't understand your world and you don't understand mine. We can give it a try. I don't mind. I really don't mind us being together.

You have your crooked little world. I have my crooked little world too. Let's see how things turn out when I'm back in Malaysia. I don't think we can make it. Chatting is much more easier than talking face to face.

Will you, will we, cross that fine line?

Just stay there, and let me do all the running.

Don't do this to me as I tried so hard to run away.
I'm running away for my life.
Why should I run like a refugee?
I've done no wrong.
Please stop right there.
Stand right there.
Don't come near me.
Stay away from me.
If you can't turn away, just stay where you are.
Don't move.

If you like me enough, you won't hurt me.

Les Miserables the movie

It's mind blowing! I love it! Of course, before you watch Les Miserables 2012, you need to get your self sensitized to the names of the character, the story line and then you will really enjoy the movie. If not, you'll just feel it's too much singing or question marks here and there. But, BUT, if you knew the story line and the songs from the concert, you will LOVE the movie. LOVE LOVE LOVE!!! I'm lovin' it. It's super nice and I cried for like five times and cast and everyone in it and the music is amazing!!!!!!!!

My favorite movie of all time. Les Miserables. :) Definitely.

P/s: This is the movie that make me wasted 6 hours and not study Microbiology. Hence I might fail my Block 2 Microbiology.

Block 2 exam

It's been a crazy roller coaster ride. The only paper left is Forensic Medicine on Thursday. Oh my, this is the worst Blocks I've ever gone through. Thinking that I'm going back home soon and there's so much to cover for Block 2 with all the self-studies. Oh my... But now, everything is over. To be frank, I think I'll fail Microbiology for sure. Pharmac, *finger cross*. Patho, hopefully I'll pass. But Block 2, I don't know what happen. Aish...

考试，新年，考试，情人节

都怪新年咯！我没有心情读书。怎么办？救命啊·！

Mummy's reaction

When I'm young, I want to study the night before exam and my mom won't allow me to. She'll be like, "Haven't you been studying? Don't need to study anymore. Go watch TV." I'm like, "No mom! I haven't been studying, please let me go study pleeaasseee..."

Ten years later, same scenario.

Mom, "I'm so glad that you spend precious study time to Skype with me. *touching expression* I appreciate it." Me, (what I told her) "Now you know how much I care about you." 

(reality) Having all the fun enjoying Chinese New Year and not studying for 3 days although Block exam is 3 days away.  CNY is the excuse for me not to study. 

Actually I haven't been studying, just like ten years before, I don't need an excuse back then. Now, the more excuses, the happier and the least guilty I'll feel. :)

How I celebrate Lunar Snake year 2013

Happy Lunar New Year! 

See how I celebrate this super important Chinese event!

1. Wake up at 8am.
2. Clean up and get dress. New clothes! Yay!!!
3. To have more Chinese New Year "feel", I tune on to 988 eradio. 
4. Ate oats because I feel like being a vegetarian today. :)
5. Watched a CNY movie.
6. Have lunch in a vegetarian restaurant.
7. Chit chat with some French couple. (How awesome is that!)
8. Buy some flowers and pray.
9. Chat with all my close friends through Facebook.
10. Just sit back and joy this awesome day. :)

What it really means.

Can't agree more. ;)

End of Block 2

Let's see what I did in this Block so that I won't feel that bad when I get my result.
P/s: I haven't even sit for my Block 2 examination.

Dramas that I've watched:-

1. Sung Kyung Kwan Scandal
2. The Big Bang Theory Season 1 to 4
3. The Big Bang Theory Season 5 and 6 half way
4. Greys Anatomy Season 5

Movies that I've watched

1. Pitch perfect
2. I am number 4
3. 27 dresses
4. Season of the witch
5. Snow white and the huntsman
6. The illusionist
7. Monte Carlo
8. Alvin and the chipmunks
9. Whats your number (for the 4th time)
10. Mary Poppins
11. Nanny McPhee the return

P/s: I've watched too much movie during this block and I can't remember all of them. That's normal right? 

And my Block 2 class test results. Here we go!

Microbiology class test 1 - 52.5%

Microbiology class test 2 - 79%

Pharmacology class test 1 - 50%

Pharmacology class test 2 - 71%

Pathology class test - 60.5%

Besides drama and movies, you all know I'm a big fan of YouTube videos...

So, I've watched all their latest videos. Whom?

1. Ryan Higa
2. Jenna Marbles (or Menna)
3. Wong Fu Production
4. JinnyBoyTV
5. Ellen (not all)

Lately, I found a YouTube channel called DavidSoComedy. 

Do check it out. As an audience or viewer, my job is to share all this little joy to my friends. :)

I love arts and crafting

I love when my hands are working into fine art works. Not just holding and pencil and taking notes.
Tomorrow and the day after, there will be an art mart. ART MART such amazing word. :)
I'll be going there and go look see look see. Hopefully I can get something I like. They'll have hair braiding and tattoo-ing too. Well, I'll see what they have there that will caught my attention.

I hope they'll have real cute stuff there.
I do love all the handmade crafts. :)

*yay*
Can't wait!

Valentine's day

Fun fact: Valentine's day is also National Condom Day
How about that? :D
Life is just full of surprises huh?

Pitch perfect

I guess everyone should have watched Pitch perfect by now. I personally have watched it for 3 times and I still love it.
Sometimes it just feels like I don't have enough ear to interpret what are they singing about. Mash up, amazing.
Acapella.

Acapella girl, acapella boy, acapella baby. ;)

Yes, I like you.

Urgh, a proper meal, just you and me makes me go cuckoo about you.
Last day of class for Block 2 and you just... aww... at least you wished me Happy Chinese New Year.
I love you!!! Haha! You make me so happy right now.

Can't believe that I am so easily satisfied. Of course. There's nothing exciting happening in my life right now. Not to say love life. So yea, I am so psyche to know that you like me a little more than other people in my life.

Thanks for making the effort to approach me. You don't have to, but you did it anyways. Thanks, that made my day.

xoxo

To get 13 views a day

13 is kinda little right? But my average page view is 5. And I'm so greedy I want more. I want more page views per day but I'm such a lazy blogger. Not that my post is interesting and it don't make any sense. Sorry readers. But I really like to see the number raise. :P

27 dresses

A very romantic story. :)
For those that watch Greys anatomy, Izzie Stevens is the heroin. :)
Katherine Heigl.
Go watch!

I skipped clinical skills "breast examination" just because I want to know the ending of the story.
Sorry Ma...

Happy Lunar New Year!!! :D

I'll be having exam during this year's Lunar New Year. But I still want to shout out loud and let the world know how much I enjoy celebrating Lunar New Year. :)

For those that don't know much about the way of celebrating Lunar New Year, watch this video clip!

The rules during Lunar New Year.

1. New clothes, preferably red. RED!
2. Say good things to people.
3. Greet the elderly and ask for Ang Pao. (A RED envelope filled with money!!! $_$)
4. Those that gamble can gamble, those that like money can keep on greeting people... (Just keep yourself occupied and eat those New Year Cookies!)
5. Spend time with your relatives, or spend time avoiding them. Go to your friends' houses and partay! (P/s: ask for more Ang Pao from your friends' parents. ;P )

Happy Lunar New Year everyone! Snake year. ~~~

I think I like you

I think I like you but thanks to my eyebrows, I didn't fall for you. I'm fine if we are just friends.
I'm pushing three guys away at this point of my life. I didn't want to get into a relationship because I'm not ready for it. Doesn't mean that I hate you, I just didn't see you that way. As my boyfriend. I didn't picture that we will be together someday. You are too good for me. o_o Yes, inferiority complex.

Me not falling for you, don't take it personally.
Remember, long long time ago, I used to dream, wish, hope, pray that we will be together. :)

i know what turns you off - tattoo

you don't like me having tattoo.
you like me.
should i get a tattoo so that you'll hate me?

I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want.

I'm just trying to tell the truth and being honest to you.
I'm not some girl that is full of confidence, I'm just a girl that want to get over the problems.
I don't aim for 100%, I aim for borderline pass.

I am different. You are different.
I feel inferior because I can't be you.
You have standard that I can't meet.
Maybe I can, but I don't want to strive just to be with you.

Can't I be with someone that is just like me?
Haha. I don't know.
But I do know that I don't want to get into a relationship now.

Until then, I won't try to impress you.
I'll just humiliate me in public and that all. :)

Maybe I'll try not to humiliate myself that much next time. =/

I like to use the word "maybe" because I know your type. And your type don't like "maybe". :)

you're the reason why i don't see

i have eyes, i'm not blind, i can see.
but thanks to you, i don't use them. because i don't want to see you.
things will change, my eyes will sparkle again, i will see again.
as long as i am neutral, i hope i can stay neutral.
by that time, i can see.

don't worry, i'm fine

as long as you are away from me, as long as i'm ignoring you, as long as you are not in my life, i'll be fine.
as long as i start reading, as long as i kept on reading, as long as i read, i'll be fine.
as long as you don't come near me, as long as you look at me, as long as you want me, i'll be fine.
as long as you care about me, as long as you love me, as long as you know that i'm doing this for you, i'll be fine.

My goal

My goal is to decorate my house as I wish. To do that, I need money, for money, I need to work, to work, I need to get a job, to get a job, I need to pass my interview, to pass my interview, I must be good in whatever I'm doing, to be good, I need to read more as I am now a medical student.

So, to achieve my goal, I need to read more. :)

I love my future house. I might as well work now.

xoxo

A relaxing back message

I smell like message oil. Till now. :)

A quitter

Being a quitter my whole life. Well, maybe not my WHOLE life. Being a quitter since 5, I'm so use to escaping from problems. When things gets tough, I'll just turn my head and walk away. This is much more easier to do when I'm young. Time flies and unfortunately I grow up and I still like to run away from problems in life. It's just seems to be an easier way out. But, the elder you get, the bigger responsibility you have and this makes quitting real hard. It's no longer quitting an art class or a ballet lesson. If I quit studying in Medicine school, what will be my occupation? I just can't quit Med school like I quit everything in my life. But staying in Med school and getting to know those smart-ass people are really a pain in the ass.

What should I do? Should I quit like always, or stick to this course and well, maybe challenge myself so that I can be a better person?

Doing something you don't like is really not fun. But I don't want to let my parents down.
What if, what if, what if.
Just because this post will be read by people all around the world, I'll tell you this. I won't quit for now.

I won't guarantee that I won't quit in the future, but I'm certain that I won't quit for now.
But let me remind you this, I longer you hang onto your problem, when a bigger problem comes, you won't feel like quitting because you've overcome the previous problem.
I hope the sentence make sense to you.

Oh well, screw those negative thoughts. Lets focus on how to make tomorrow a better day. Although I claim that I don't know anything and that my calvaria is empty, deep down, I know that it's not empty and I might know at least 20% about what's happening in this course.

So, to make some easy calculation, if I know 20% of my course objective, I need to study 30% more in order to pass. If I read my class notes only, that will give me 40%. There there, 60% that's not a bad score!

Oh, for those that don't know what I get for my Block 1 exam, I got 51, 53, 49, 67 for Pathology, Pharmacology, Microbiology and Forensic Medicine.
P/s: Passing mark is 50.

After letting the world know that I'm not as dumb as I thought I might be, I feel much more better and I'm now feeling happy and hungry.

I LOVE YOU READERS OUT THERE THAT ARE STILL READING MY BLOG ALTHOUGH IT'S ALWAYS FULL OF CRAP AND IT STILL IS.

XOXO

I'm scared

I'm scared. It seems that I don't know anything about Pathology, Microbiology and Pharmacology. Not to mention I haven't read a thing about Forensic medicine.
I tried reading but I can't remember. I am so scared and I don't want to border line pass again. If this continues, I will fail my second year of MBBS. I certainly don't want that to happen.
Who wished to fail in the exam?
Well, certainly not me.

I'm freaking out right now. I don't know what to do. There's so much to read and I am constantly feeling sleepy and tired. I'm born lazy. I'm trying! I'm trying! Let's wait and see what will happen in the future. But right now, I'm freaking out.

I feel that I'm so super dumb. I'm scared.

I had a bad dream

I dreamt about a black shadow extending he's hand towards me.
It's a he, I'm sure of it.
This dream lasted for only 2 second.
The end. :)

My first ever bad dream in Manipal. Thanks to mom that watched haunted movie in the middle of the night.

Relationship i don't get

i don't know why would you want to start a relationship that you know that it will end.
i don't understand why you breakup and yet you still misses each other.
i don't get why don't you all get back together since obviously you still cares about each other.

Back to blogging?

I'm very tired of reading books lately. So I will stick to my laptop very often. Hopefully only for this week. Because if I stop reading books, I will fail my exams. I'm trying to replace me textbooks by using online studying website.

I found one. Khanacademy.
But that's a video watching one. Not a reading one. The video one is better because if I read, I'll feel sleepy and there goes my day.

Had food poisoning yesterday and vomited. After you learn Anatomy, you can totally relate to what happens to your body. Even vomiting! I'm glad that my body reacted to all the microorganisms present in my food. And the effort my body made to get rid of them.

I'm gonna spend more time with my laptop this week. I hope I'll be happy. :)

Wish you had a wonderful time too.

No misunderstanding

I'm acting or behaving exactly the way I want.
There's no misunderstanding here.
I don't live my life to please you.
Peace out.

Girls talk

Spend time with some friends and have some invisible pillow talk. 

With cake slices and a few cups of tea. 

Someday, if you found someone that love you enough, they will do anything anything they could to just see you, talk to you, spend time with you. That is so sweet. Condition only applies if you love that person in return. We don't want things to get stalker like or annoying right? ;D

I know I haven't been blogging much lately but I need a break from blogging or providing information about my well being to people that I don't want to share this piece of information to. 

But I chose to not let someone I dislike influence my action. So I'm still gonna do the things that I want. :)

Haven't been having a talk like this for months. It's good maybe, perhaps, but the more you know me, the weirder I'll get. The more you know me, the more you know that I didn't really work that hard for the things that I've achieved. 

I don't want you to get jealous about me in the end. But I'm just being me. Plain lazy. 

I need a break from your face

I hate you. No offense.

Skype with bff

You eat pizza, I eat plain bread.
You have trisome and I'm masturbating.
You have all the fun and I'm all the way here.
It is so unfair and your fart smells so bad.

-You belong with me-

I love Thursdays.

Pros:-

1. YouTubers will upload videos on Thursday.
2. They serve nasi kandar in Cheff Inn.
3. Thursday means the week is coming to an end. 
4. If I don't have PBL and Clinical skills, my class will end at 10am. (Only one hour class!)

Cons:-

1. You are worn out after preparing for all the SDLs and PBL presentation.
2. If you have PBL and Clinical Skills, class will end at 5pm. 

The only cons on Thursdays are you have more studies to do. 

Other than that, Thursdays = FREEDOM!