New year! New me?

Hehe, changed my room's feng shui this morning. Hopefully it can make me more into the studies. Superstitious.

It's been a year, and many thing changed. I left Malaysia, left Leader S and Blur S behind. I worked. I finished my Foundation course and continue my studies in India. I met new friends. My grandfather passed away. I survived in India. I watch a lot of Youtube videos like never before.  Taught my grandmother how to play Plants VS Zombies. Gain new freedom. Having full control of my life. Be vegetarian for almost 2 months. And many more. =)

After being in India, lots of my dreams come true. Be able to stay away from family, life a healthy lifestyle, stay away from processed food, blog, jogging, lose weight, and have long hair. =)

Surprisingly, I'm happy here. Things in India are affordable. And so, I'm a shopaholic now. And I'm proud. Because I learn to love myself. I love the accessories in India. The traditional style. Love it! I bought earrings, rings, kurti, soon, I'm going to buy Saree, bangles, and more rings and earrings. Haha! Can't wait.

Although I'm broke on Christmas and have 0 rupees on New Year Day, I have my friends to be my ATM. So that I won't starve and suffer from Kwashiorkor.

Of course, all the studies make my knowledge grow. And I'm glad I'm smarter than before. The ability to handle stress improves. Time management... well, need more improvement. Being Miss Green and eco-friendly, not that much. Having the laptop on for 10 hours per day is NOT green.

New Year resolutions: Have fun, stay healthy, love myself, not to stress, bring joy to people around me, not to CURSE that much, work my plan, and enjoy life. =)

And I do hope people around me can be more PUNCTUAL because punctuality is very important. Well, the truth is I started blogging when I'm waiting fro someone. So, I typed quite a lot and I'm still HERE! Followers, justify that!

I'm very glad that I'm here, reflecting! (Reflecting is never the THING in my life) Ya, perhaps I should reflect more. (add that on the list)

For this very New Year, I wished to study more (can't help it), stay beautiful, have a healthy skin the radiates out all the pink-ish-ness   xD And be happy as always and I hope everyone will be healthy, happy, beautiful and world peace!

Increase the awareness of being GREEN!

Love you all for those who is reading this. And good luck having a wonderful new year!

I know what we're going to do today!

I know how to make me feel more alive. I'll set a goal to "hit" for the day and I'll make it a rule to do what I want for the day. So, loving myself so much, I'm going to funfair tonight! Although I'm broke, I'll still go. >,<

No regrets!

Live life to the fullest! I wanna play computer games, I wanna watch tonnes of movies, I wanna watch a lot of Youtube videos! I wanna I wanna SHOP!!! I wanna eat! I wanna sleep! I wanna spend time with my friends, I wanna be crazy!!! @_@

I am already crazy!

 I wanna play Balloon tower defense. !!! Muahahahaha! xD

Life.Death

I miss my grandfather.
I miss him.
I miss the way he make me study.
But I'm me, he can't force me to study.

I use to pray for my dead grandpa and grandma (father's side)
And one of my aunt.
And my numerous dead pets.

But now in India,
I need to add one more people to my praying list.
My grandfather. ='(
I miss him so much.
And he left to quickly.
Didn't he miss me?

He used to buy me my favorite food.
He's the one that raise me up.
He's the one that make my childhood food list.
He gave me all he's antiques.
He's my grandfather.

When I refer to my grandfather,
it's always him.
Never the grandfather on my father's side.
Because he left when I'm 5 years old.

I miss you grandpa!!!
Can't you hear me?
And you somewhere protecting me, giving me strength?
I miss you!!! T-T

I love you.
I always will.

Mail

Receiving a mail.

I am not at all excited to receive a mail.
Everyone knows that I'm not a "socializing" type.
Therefore, nothing will appear in my mail box.
If there is something, either it's not for me, or it's those advertising paper.

My mom is my direct opposite.
She believe that the mail is the most informative "box".
And she likes to summon me to check the mail box.
I wonder why is the mail box that important to her.

And I think I get to know why...
My results!!!
All the electric bills, water utility bills, credit card bills, wedding invitation (they won't post it anymore).
Yup, mainly my results and the credit card bills.
I wonder how she'll react when she sees my result.

I told her my results.
But, she's going to see it this time.
Worried!
No point worrying also.

LOL

Be careful what you wish for

When you are wishing for something, think twice, or even thrice. Don't ever wish for the wrong thing. Or at least, be specific on what are you wishing for. Well, I always wanted to be pretty, having people chasing after me and then get into relationship and I will be so happy by that time. Reality is, it can really kill you when someone likes you and he made it so damn freaking obvious and you don't know how to say no. I don't want to be rude.

So thankful that my friends are always there for me. =)
There's always a "guy" drama in certain point of my life. What did I do to deserve that? I need to pray more... (not gonna help).

Rant, having a headache. Bad things happens when I didn't obey my mom. >,<
I totally deserve it.

Back to the purpose of this post.
I wished to study more and not feeling sleepy. Not insomnia.

Alright, I'm going to rest. It's 12.15am in India.

Human

Some people like to make people miserable so they can look better. But if we look closer, they are the miserable one. You can act like you are the best in the world but clearly, there's something wrong about your personality. You are pretty. But your inside are not as pretty. The equation here is, inside > outside. 

So no matter how good you look (on the outside), it will not impress me. 

You can be perfect. but you choose not to. You chose to make people look miserable. Poisonous you! When can you realize that this will only make you look more miserable? Sad for you. Pity you for having all the fake friends around. 

Hope that you will know how to treat properly soon. Don't look down on people ever again. 

If I die young.

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses <3

Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song<3

Study!!!

Congrats to me, I studied yesterday night. And now, I felt great! Hehe. No guarantee for tomorrow's "concentration level". But hopefully a can bare with such insane timetable. Although I finished reading the text and did some little notes. Those info is not registered in my brain yet. Arteries and lymphatic drainage. Alright, so many people survived MBBS and why can't I? xD

Going to work harder and harder. My desk mate. Tsk... tsk... tsk... You all should take a look at her notes. Awesome. She highlighted and drew some diagram and all. Compared to my notes, it's obvious. Untouched. >,<

Not that I don't feel shameful about it, but I have my own way to utilize my time. So no worries. Guarantee I'll study harder this time. Put more effort. =) Don't worry, I have PvsZ to company me while I'm reading Chaurasia. So, days might brightened a little.

Going to see my dentist after class. Have no idea what he want to do to my teeth again. Zeng!!!

Alright people, going to have my lunchy lunch. Stomach growling. Love you guys! <3

Being me again

Miss Jess said :"People change. They always do. Sooner or later, you will know"

I don't want that to happen to me! Can't I be like myself? The young and innocent me, being positive and cheerful every day? I want to be that me again. As we grow, things change. People around us change. And we leave people that love us and care for us.

As we grow, we seek for liberty, for freedom. But we never know that people that really care for us still care for us and don't want us to leave. It's always us that leave our parents. It's always the children that want to get as far as possible from our parents. But parents, never ask us to leave them. And to make us happy, they let us go.

Since I've changed, I wanted a change again. I want to change back to my old self again. The "me" when I'm 11 years old. Being enthusiastic about everything, being cheerful and always laughing, the girl that is always positive about everything. I want to be "me" again!

Treasure every minute in my life. Have fun all along. Study is never a problem to me that time. School teachers taught me well. Extra curriculum is perfect by that time. Sight reading is perfect during piano lesson. Everything is perfect. When I'm 11 years old. I'm the happiest.

To be my old self, I'll enjoy my life and accept everything that come into my life. No matter it's good or bad, the 11 years old me can surely solve the problem. That time, I don't have fear. And so am I now. Nothing to fear about. Go!!! The cheerful new me. Go!!! =)

Inner demon

My one and only inner demon will always say :"it's late, why don't you get some sleep?"
Reality knows that i can't get up early the next morning and I'll continue to sleep until it's time for class. End up, I won't be able to finish studying.

But now, I've got a new solution. And so I told my inner demon :"why don't you let me at least finish reading my notes first before I go to bed?" "Please..."

And so, inner demon agreed. =)

The end!

Histology

When your supposed to be Histology lecturer is on leave and some lecturer replaced her class, and the replacement lecturer is funny and humorous and did not really teach you how to draw the drawings, and when you are supposed to hand in the histology drawing the next day and you don't have a single clue about how to draw them, you should really be referring to your notes, two of your friends completed drawing, textbook, and online sources; and with all of that, you are still uncertain whether your drawing is correct or not.
In conclusion, I prefer my same old Histology lecturer. A day of fun lead to your whole histology book look ugly!

Suffer now, enjoy later - Leader S

Nostalgia

When nostalgia happens, there's really no way to escape from it.

Brands, songs, items, every single thing will just remind you of someone in your life. No matter you like it or not. No matter if they are enemy or friends, there's still some memories left. Sometimes, I really feel like erasing every mistake I've made in the past.

But because of this memories, it reminds you of how terrible you are and you will try your best to change.

People need to read constantly. I've decided to reward myself by buying myself a novel IF I finish reading general anatomy. The best thing that happens to a book is to be read!

I have too many "me" time recently until I lost track of what's important. Hello~! Class test is tomorrow and Block I result is coming out tomorrow too!!! How many disaster can happen to us in a day? It's uncountable! Oh well, I'm too pleased about the internet connection. I've been spending too much time with my laptop. As you all see, I've been blogging a lot lately. >,<

I really need to study! Make me read people!!! I need Omphh!!!
Sad... ... Okay, I'm going to copy what topic is coming out for class test and get going.
Bye people... =( *super sad*
Reality 

B.R.A.C.E.S

As you all know, I had my braces on and I love it! Although it make me sick (sore throat), but I still like them on me! I've always wanted them on me! Dream comes true? xD

Before putting on braces, we need to take some X-ray and these were mine!

Healthy teeth of mine. <3

Ugly incisors and defected Maxilla.

Braces will definitely keep me out of guys. And I'm lovin' the idea. 

"Like"

I hate it when I dress up and I attracted someone that I am not attracted to. It feels weird. Very weird. And yet you know he is attracted to you. And I'll be like :"Can you stop staring at me like that?" It really don't feel nice. Eww!

I'm a racist. And when my say I'm one, I meant it. =P

Moonlight

Tonight, I witness eclipse of the moon the first time ever in my life. It's amazing!!!
From a "shadow" to something to full moon! And the best part is, the moon is so bright that you don't even need streets light. Romantic much. <3

Fall and you'll know the pain

Here, "fall" is nothing else but FAIL. Failing is a good thing if you see it from another angle. It makes you concentrate in your study and make you realize your mistake. The thing is, you need to see what mistake you did. 

Tell me what to do

It's so pathetic that I always feel sleepy during lecture class. And I've been waiting for the class to end. And when it finally ended, and it's the best chance for me to sleep in my room, the feeling of sleepiness disappears. Why is it always like that?

And when you enter your room, there's always a perfectly well laptop waiting for you. And you'll go online, blog and Facebook. People on Facebook to stay connected. And I, on Facebook just to check the Question of the Day. For those who don't know, Question of the Day are questions published on the notice board right after a dissection class end. Each "Question on the Day" contains an essay question and five multiple true false (MTF) questions.

It's the best for you to do the Question of the Day (QotD). It makes you read, revise and think.

After the failure Block I end, I always wanted to keep myself on track and not procrastinate. But, the but in India is, if you want to finish revising + answering QotD + reading; You NEED to left other subject aside. If you did that, you need to spend your next day doing the subject that you left out. Who knows that there will also be dissection class the next day and the day after that?! (We had 4 dissection class per week and we had need to go class on Saturday too!)

So, I came to a conclusion that we never had enough time to finish everything. Even the "pro" people in my group haven't been studying since the first day of Block II! She's kinda fed-up of all the studying time that she need to put in. For her case, she need to go to church, some event that she CAN'T miss. I don't think people in my class have enough time every day. They will either attend the class with panda eyes, or ended up falling sick. And that's exactly what happened to me now. And that make things worst. Without a healthy body, everything need to hit the pause button. We need to rest, sleep all day. And all the resting killed out time. T-T

Why is it so hard to make time for us? It's not so simple as it seems. Everyone need a break. But the break isn't a break for us. Not at all. If you're in my situation, you'll give me a thousand likes in Facebook.

I think I'm going to library to escape from my bed. It's too tempting! I know myself so well that I know what will happen. First, I'll read Chaurasia with my dissection notes. Then, continue reading on the bed (only reading Chaurasia by then). THEN, start seeing something wrong or reading words wrongly. e.g. Ascending to Anterior or something similar. I'll give up by then. Saying to myself :"What's the point of reading Chaurasia and torturing yourself by not sleeping and get the wrong info?" Inner demon ask me to sleep. So, I did! I will happily put the book down and sleep... Thinking that I can wake up early the next day to study. And you know what will happen at the end.

So! The story will always be like that. It's more like a daily routine. To put an end to this, I'm going to library and get influence by the nerdy around me. Yup, that's my plan. And I hate Chaurasia! I always been hating the book. I'm gonna read Grey's anatomy if I can find one. I HATE Chaurasia man...

Okay, it's time for me to start "re-writing" my dissection notes before it's too late. Bye people! ='(

Falling sick

It sucks when you fall sick. It’s shittier when you realized that because of that, you won’t have enough time to study and you will regret that why in the world you didn’t finish study the day before. And during this time, you tried your very best to recover. You will drink thousand gallons of water and go to washroom for a zillion times. Well, there are only two choices for you. First, go ahead and sleep and get enough rest. Second, try to do as much as you can while you still have time to study! My choice? I’m neutral, what I’m going to do is study as much as I can and sleep.

And because of falling sick, you can’t eat anything you want. Basically, you can only eat clear soup, non-fried food, porridge, tasteless food, etc. And by that time, you will realize that how nice if you are still healthy and being able to eat everything. Sigh…  The time will come, very soon if you take your vitamin regularly and drink adequate amount of water daily.  That totally reminds me of taking my Vitamin C tablet.

Always note that when you are alone out there, away from your family and friends, it’s always depends on yourself of how you are going take care of your own body. So, be healthy and don’t suffer like me!

Grow up

Eventually, no matter how or when, something will happen in our life and leave a permanent scar there. I grew up, and I’m proud of that. Being able to study more and have more self-discipline than never before, that’s always what I wanted myself to be. And let’s not forget, having fun! I’m trying hard to preserve the “fun” element in my life as I know if I don’t treasure this element; it will disappear from my life.

Someone told me that we had to keep on reading and writing as they will keep our mind clear and make us think. So, I think she triggers my writing nerve and I decided to write although I’m not that good in it.

I am so glad about the “me” now. I’m happy, I’m studying, I’m having fun, I’m still breathing, what else should I ask for?

After being in India for 3 months time, I finally accept the fact that I’m going to make my room more “homey”. I’m going to decorate it and make myself comfortable about it. Time flies, it doesn’t matter how free you are, how busy you are or how bored you are, it still flies. Although I “suffered” the first few weeks I’m in India, time still flies! Now I am, having time to write this, having enough sleep every day, able to go shopping occasionally, that’s awesome! Time will never wait for us. It depends on us on how to use them wisely.

For me, I’ll wake up early, study, pray, breakfast. Class, lunch, after class, bathe. Dinner, study, diary, pray, sleep. Surf the net, read magazine. How cool is that? Sooner or later, I’ll continue my jogging routine - going to end point like never before, every evening.

If someone asks me whether I’m afraid that my daily routine will interfere with my academics, I’ll answer, no. I rather fail my exam than failing my life. See, when you manage your time well, keep a healthy body and mind. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

It’s all about having faith and being confident. Girl who has confidence is the prettiest. And to be pretty, I’m more than glad to stay positive and be confident. Plus, I’m wearing braces now. What’s ugly? What’s pretty? What’s nerdy? That’s what people think. The most important thing is what you think about yourself.

Being happy is the best thing that can happen to a human being. And the direct opposite of being happy is being stress. Stress can ruin your life. Stay away from it! I use to stress up once. But not anymore! Just be happy and grateful of what you have. For me, I have a very healthy body, family that willing to support my education fees to do MBBS, I’m doing one of the toughest courses in the world and I’m still surviving without developing any psychological disease. So, why stress? I don’t get people that are having stress.

To release stress, go exercise, watch a movie, go shopping if you can afford it. Why sorrow? All those negative thoughts, Shoo!

The greatest thing about us is no matter how hard is our daily life; we had the courage to life on. Keep it up people! We can do it and we WILL survive and a greater day is ahead.