It's your birth MONTH!

Too bad I can't be there for you. But I will surely celebrate your birthday in my own specific way. :)

Miss you, love you. 

Obstetrics and gynaecology (OB/GYN)

This is my 4th drama of this blog. Not to forget other movies that I've watched.

This is a korean drama. With superb cast. From handsome, elegant, cute, etc.
This drama taught me a lot.
Medical knowledge mostly.
Medical terms.
It's mostly about medical.
Well, that's what the title says right? OB/GYN.

Obstetrics and gynaecology!
I've spend most of my time watching this drama but it is totally worth it.
There's heart breaking moments, there's also moment that will make you scream from the top of your lungs (When super hot cast appears). Awesome!

It a very useful drama and I strongly recommend medical student to watch it. I get the meaning of metastasis, fibroids, and lot's of other terms from this drama. ;)

So, go watch it!

P/s: it's actually 2.15am in the morning and I didn't get any decent sleep recently so I don't really know what am I blogging about. But the point is, this is a GREAT MOVIE. WATCH IT!

Animals

Favorite animal - Pig
Wanna be animal - Cat
What animal am I - Monkey

Why pig?
Pig is cute, pink and chubby. Pig are smart and they are labelled as LAZY aka. lazy pig. So no one will expect more from them. They play with mud and eat apples. Way to go, PIG!

Why cat?
Cat is elegant and arrogant. They clean themselves but no matter how often they clean themselves, they're still dirty (that's not a good point).Cat have 9 lives. They can help me survive stressful incidences. Cat is so full of themselves. So action, such a showoff. #everybodywantstobeacat

Why monkey?
Monkey is hyperactive, full of curiosity, good in mimicry. Monkey is full of fun and creativity. Monkey don't work, they play. Being a monkey is as awesome as it can be! <3

I felt it today

Thanks for doing this. I very much appreciate it. You might do it for other girls too. But this is the first time someone intentionally did it for me. 3Q. ^^

Drama

A good drama can make me forget the time and place.

A good drama can make me stay in my room forever.

Time in a drama world is slow.

In drama world, everything will be alright. 

There's always happy ending in drama world.

That's what I love most about drama. 

Quote

Don't compare yourself with other people. If you do, you are looking down at yourself. 

According to my friends

Today, I filled up a whole list of 57 people's impression to me.

According to my friends, I'm:-

1. pro in making indian food
2. future doctor, caring
3. future doctor, lain kali buka "satu kakinang" kilnik ya
4. like biology and skin of rat

Will update this post if they submit more answers. ;D

Time to heal my soul

I'm healing my soul by listening to Buddhist songs. 

*ohm*

Sh*t you said

You said that you will wait for me to be ready. But the next day after you said this, you get your ass sitting next next next to me.

You said you will try not to bother me. But all you did was standing in front of the lecture hall door and SEE where am I going or what am I doing.

Non of what you said is true. I rather you not say anything.
You make things worst after you "try to" be nice.
Stop being nice. *vomit*

BOSS 2

Such an awesome drama. A drama where no good guy will die. 

Boss 2 is much funnier, make more sense (if you watched Boss), and the story line is more intense. Drama-wise, not case-wise. 

Super nice! After wasting two whole day watching Boss and Boss 2 plus failing my microbiology class test, I'm officially brain washed! Hooray!

Piece of advice, don't watch too much drama. But, it's stress releasing and fun! Yippy! =D

I am not a doctor... yet

I don't feel like I'm a doctor. I don't act like a doctor. I don't think like a doctor. I am not a doctor.
I'm 20% closer to be a doctor. But I am not yet a doctor.
I'm scared. I'm confused. I'm lazy. I don't care how funny this post will be when I look back after 5 years but I'm here to say that I'm scared.

I'm not a doctor yet. Will I be one? Can I be one?
#pray

I'm an obedient daughter that live my dad's dream.
I'm just a good student that live my teachers' dream.
I'm just living my life for the one that I''m respecting.

Being a doctor is not my dream.
And that's it.
I'm dead.
I'm doomed.

But I'll change my mind set as I'm moving along this course.
It's not the end... yet.

I don't feel like studying for class test

I won't complain if I can't answer the paper tomorrow. I don't have mood to study. I don't feel anything right now. I'm empty. I don't know what to think and I can't study if I'm like that. At least, I need to feel something.

I'm feel nothing and I know it.

Never seen together

:) Always behind the camera, you will never be seen in the same picture with me. Never. :)

Paparazzi

I don't think you are that childish to snap my photos when I'm not noticing and keep them as a collection.
Any how, I can also be mistaken by being overly sensitive.

Boss

Boss, a Japanese detective drama. Watch it. It's nice.

You can watch on gooddrama.net
That's what I'm doing. :)

I think that she's pretty

How come people don't agree about my taste? My taste isn't that bad right? My taste of girls I mean. People don't agree with me when I commented that some other girls are pretty. 

To me, 85% of girls are pretty. They really are!

And why should I get into a relationship when no one ever proposed to me? So funny. 

To me, girls that didn't make you feel disgust or nauseous are pretty. 

Do you have any idea how hard girls try to look pretty?

Now that their face is acne-free and they have their own fashion sense, I think they deserve to be treated as a pretty girl. 

Never ever say that a girl is fat. You'll never know until which extend will they respond to that comment. 

Girls are very self-conscious. They will complain that their boobs are too big, stomach too big, butt too big, boobs too small, too short, too tall, too this... too that... They will never consider themselves are perfect. They always wanted more. They always wanted to be "perfect" but the fact is, they ARE perfect. 

How long will they take to realize that? 5 years? 10 years? The whole life? I don't know. But I do hope everyone will treasure their own look and appearance. 

If you are complaining about your appearance, please go search the images of babies with congenital abnormalities. You have no idea what a complex process it is to have what you are having now. 

Last friends

Yesterday, I spend my whole day watching Last friend and study PBL.
Well, mostly watching Last friends.

This is a totally confusing drama that mind fucked me. 

No exaggerating.

As you can see, there are 5 different individual in the picture above.

My favorite character is the short hair girl in the top line. 

She's a lesbian. 

BOOM! 

Mind fuck factor number 1 - I'm not that comfortable around lesbians or gays.

Not because I hate them, but I don't really have friends like that. So I don't know what will it feel to be around lesbians or gays. No offense at all. I'm open minded enough to except who you are.

Mind fuck factor number 2 - You see that guy at the bottom line? He is a major STALKER. He stalks he's girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (the girl on the left at the top line) like crazy. Not to mention he hits her too! What the... Apparently that's call DV. That's guy is crazy okay? CRAZY!

Mind fuck factor number 3 - The guy on the top line like the lesbian. Which is sweet. But he is IMPOTENT due to his unfortunate pass incident with his sister. 

Mind fuck factor number 4 - The girl on the left at the top line like the guy at the top line which makes thing worst because the guy like the girl which happens to be her high school best friend. 

Mind fuck factor number 5 - The family background of the sweet girl, her mom is a very irresponsible mother. Asking money from the daughter, sleeping with another guy. Another dirty minded guy. 

The whole drama is so messed up. Like the whole world is wrong. Girl like girl. Boy hit girl. Mom ask money from daughter. Girl sleep around. Husband afraid of wife. Wife has an affair. Wife's new boyfriend uses husband's credit card to buy wife gifts? Mind fuck factor number 6!!! 

Mind fuck factor number 7 - The stalker guy raped the girl. While the girl is trying her best to protect the sweet girl. 

Mind fuck factor number 8 - The girl kept on going back to the stalker guy for her own stupid reason which I could not understand.

Mind fuck factor number 9 - The guy raped the girl. The girl got pregnant.

Mind fuck factor number 10 -  The guy commit suicide after raping the girl. 

The whole story line was fucked up. But it is also a very good opportunity to let people see what is really going on with this world. And how wrong it can get. We need to heal our soul for a better world. 

Sorry for all the cursing. If you can take all these factors, (there's more tiny factors but I don't want to mention it here) go watch this drama. Last friends.

P/s: This drama make me woke up from my fairy tale land for a little while. The real world is scary. Like in this drama. Well, not that scary. But ya. It's scary. =/ 

A blog is a personal diary

Welcome to my blog - my diary plus ranting space.
I'm here to share my joy and happiness as well as my sad and boring stories that happens in my life.

I'm very happy to have people so supportive out there reading my blog. I have no idea have you all found my blog. But I'm glad that you all are still here, reading it. It meant a lot to me.

I will try to be optimistic. In real life, I'm just a quite girl that don't like to socialize. I am a good girl. Definition of good girl? I don't hit someone and I'm not those girls that will fight over someone else's boyfriend.

In my blog, you might find the real me that I've always hidden with my "expression-less" face. No one will spend time to talk to me or get to know me because I always appeared to be bored and I don't even care. The truth is, I really don't care what other people thinks about me. Even you, my reader left me and don't ever read my blog again, I'll still continue posting in this blog. Because, this blog provide me a cozy space to express myself.

Go on and read if you want to know more about my not-so dramatic life.
Again, welcome to my blog. :)

My mom

I miss my mom so much. I'm all the way in India and I'm alone right now. I don't know why I miss her all of the sudden but I just do.

Here, I need to thank her for being there for me when I need her. Cheering me up and said that it's okay when I did something stupid. I need to thank her for punishing me so that I treasure the time not being with her. She brought me up well.

I'm now a 20 year old girl in a foreign country studying Medicine and I'm still alive. Incredible.
I'm nothing without her. First, of course, I came out from her uterus. I "sucked" her nutrient, make her fat, make her ugly and make her tired. I'm so sorry mom!

Even now, I'm using her hard earn money. For my hair. :O
She just want me to be happy. So if I kept on saving the money and get malnutrition, she'll be more worried. ;D (bad girl talk)

I'm so sorry that you have to bear with my bullshits. All my, "Mummy, don't have any guy like me" complaints. Haha! Being my mom is not an easy task. But being her daughter is not an easy task either.
Give and take, give and take.

Sometimes, I really hate my mom so so much when she scolded me. But in the end, she's always right and I'm grateful the she make the effort to teach me what is right and what is wrong.

I love you mom. Don't ask me to find a boyfriend. Drop the topic.
I love you!

Tinker Bell - Secret of the Wings

I love watching Tinker bell movies. I watched all three of them. 

Can’t wait for more to come! 

Why do I like Tinker bell movies?

1.     Tinker bell is so pretty

2.    All her friends are pretty too

3.    The art work is very beautiful

4.    The pixie world is so magical and wonderful

5.    The moral of the story is awesome

6.    The fairies costumes are so pretty!

7.    The music is so catchy and meaningful (I love the lyrics!)

I love fairies. I love the idea of having fairies in this same world that we lived in. 

My favorite fairy in this movie is Queen Clarion. I liked the way she set up the rule to protect every other fairies. Although she need to be apart with her lover Lord Milori. Ah, such a beautiful story. :)

Wanting to cross the border which is against the rules!
She always do things that are against the rules! Since the first movie. 

Hey lamb

WARNING THE FOLLOWING POST WILL BE EXTREMELY DISGUSTING AND IT'S NOT SUITABLE FOR PEOPLE THAT IS HAVING THEIR MEAL TO SEE THIS. IF YOU ARE PRONE TO VOMITING AND ANY NAUSEA FEELING, JUST SKIP THIS POST. THANK YOU.


Hey, you are the only guy I will take the initiative to talk to. You are like a lamb. So shy, yet so cute. So innocent yet NOT innocent. So brave and you can bare such huge responsibilities. I like you.

I like the way that you come near me today.

*excuse me for starting a "Dear Diary" lovey dovey style of writing. can't help it! >< *

Why don't you talk to me. I know you are shy. I know how you feel. I'm shy too. I'm here to let you know, no matter how long you take to find the courage, I'll wait for you.

I'm sorry that I'm not into you (anymore)

I don't mean to ignore you. But I'm over you. It's too late for you to like me now. I don't think I will fall for the same guy the second time.

Maybe you only noticed me after I took of my braces. But this proves that you just like my look. Only my look. You can't be protecting me because I don't need to be protected. I can take care of myself. I'd been taking care of myself since I'm 9 years old. And I don't need any other people to take care of me.

Maybe you feel sorry for me. For the scar on my arm, for how pale I looked today due to the "hemorrhage", but I'm certain that I don't need your sympathy. I can do this on my own. It's not that you can feel the pain I felt when I'm having menstrual cramp.

Maybe you are caring for everyone. But I don't like to share those caring feeling of yours with other people. I'm a selfish girl. (not very selfish, but I am SELFISH)  Maybe I will share those caring feeling of yours with your family members, but certainly not my batch mates or any other strangers. So I don't think we are right for each other. :) No hard feelings okay?

Don't you remember that I am your stalker and you use to stay away from me? o.o
You can't forget those creepy days right? So, I can't really understand why are you turning your attention to me. Will anyone ever like their stalker? I certainly don't. :x Just saying.

Can't believe that I'm so desperate for a relationship and yet I am pushing guys away.
I'm so funny right?
Maybe I'm too picky.
Maybe I consider too much.
But I might like someone for now.

Someone that try to get more information about me by getting near me and listen to my conversation.
I feel that it's sweet for him to do that. He don't usually do that.
Today is kinda unexpected. Maybe he noticed that I looked pale today.
He is such a sweet guy. Shy and timid.

So, I'm very sure that I don't like you anymore.
We are just batch mate. Maybe we are friends. But I won't fall for you for the second time.
I won't let myself get hurt.
So, go ahead and stamp everyone with your paw.

The think that I still like about you is that you are not afraid to admit that you are a monkey. Just like me.
I LOVE having similarities with some other random person. I have the fake feeling that we think alike.
Teehee.
I still like you as my batch mate.

High metabolism rate

I am constantly hungry. Although I'm hungry, I have no idea what I feel like eating. I'm just HUNGRY.
*breathe*
Can this be that hard?
To think of something to eat.
Hmm...
I'm menstruating. I guess that's the reason why I'm constantly hungry.
=/
Say YES to food! cos we have no reason to make ourselves starve.
We can afford the food, we have time to eat, we feel like eating. So why on diet now?
For the girls out there, just eat. Maybe not after 9pm. But we must at least eat something.
Our body need food to keep us going.
Food = fuels

It's essential!
If you are afraid that you might gain weight, walk more and use stairs. Drink more water and eat fruits if you feel hungry after 9pm.

Say cheers to eating! I need food. NOW.

Kick ass

I hate juniors. I don’t usually hate juniors. But juniors in MMMC are just trying to get on my nerve. They are disrespectful, selfish, and full of themselves and a waste of space. 

I hate them. Both batches of juniors are so hate-able.

So, to kick their asses, I should study harder and show the lecturers our ability. Although we don’t really volunteer in answering questions that much, but at least we are polite.

So seniors, let’s work hard and do our very best in kicking the juniors asses!

We rock! #camprock @ddlovato #lovatics

Eye candy

The blue colour I heart Manipal t-shirt guy

In search for Panchandra

This doesn’t make any sense. But yes, I would like to know who is Panchandra. This is the guy that my brain created for me. We actually fell in love and too bad, we are force apart by his mom. Such drama doesn’t happen in real life. But it happened in my dream. And I respect my dream. So, I want to know WHO IS PANCHANDRA. 

Being a friend

I'm friends with 20 peoples in my life. When I say friends, I mean I know what is their name. I know at least one thing they are good at. I care (well not too much) for them. I speak to them more than 5 times. I feel happy when I see them.

If you are my friend, I will:

1. talk to you
2. smile at you when we pass by each other
3. say Hi to you
4. like your picture on Facebook
5. not stalk you
6. dine with you (breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper)

If you are my good friend, I will:

1. borrow you my notes (all though they are all messed up)
2. describe my weird dreams to you
3. bug you whenever I go
4. eat your food
5. take pictures with you
6. let you drink from my water bottle

If you are my best friend, I will:

1. plan your birthday party for you
2. not study just to accompany you
3. talk to you for hours (minimum 2 hours)
4. scream and laugh like crazy and not bother what everyone thinks when I spend time with you
5. shop together 
6. sleep over in your room
7. tell you about my complicated love life
8. take ugly pictures together
9. care for you more than I ever care for another human
10. remember your birth date 

Marry

When you want to marry someone, remember that it is far more complicated than that. You have decisions to make. You have to compromise. You have to settle each others problems. You have to learn to share. You have to admit that you are wrong. Most importantly, you need to learn how to accept people's crap.

You must be thinking, I'm marrying a pretty girl and she will be my wife and she will always be mine.
You are selfish!

You fiance have feelings too.
She will menstruate. Are you ready to see that amount of BLOOD that she is loosing for one whole week?
All the chocolates and comforting words that you will say to her went you are still chasing her.
Will you still say that after you are married?

Don't assume that girls have experience in menstruating so it will be fine and we don't need to consider menstruating as an issue.

Look at what am I doing now.
I'm menstruating and I'm complaining!

Girls will not be fine.
Even a tiny winy little message or sign will ruin their day.
And you won't even know what make her so mad.

So, if you are ever getting married, please think thrice. Make sure you can take all this crap. And move on.

Always you

and... you guys should totally watch Always you in YOMYOMF network. It's amazing!

Always you is like a drama plus music video.
There's a story line and then there's a song to go along with the story.
Love it!

Here's the link for episode 1.

What’s your number

OMG, I LOVE the movie!!!! It is so funny + meaningful + entertaining + romantic + real.

This is so real. I love this movie! I can feel the love. I can feel the love for family, love for friends, love for NEIGHBORS? xD Love for ex-boyfriends, love for LOVERS!

In short, I love this movie.

I rate it 5 stars. 

Love

I don’t own a love life. I might want one after watching “What’s your number”. I’m not happy with myself either. I want to be single and I want to be in a relationship. This doesn’t make any sense for guys. Perhaps. But I totally understand why I wanted to be both single and in a relationship.

I want to be single for the freedom and availability.

I want to be in a relationship because I want the romances and kisses or hot, HOT sexes.

But I can’t get the best of both worlds for now. I’m still a student. And in my culture, student don’t usually enjoy hot, HOT sexes. I’m 100% financially depending on my parents. Unless my readers actually did click the advertising button and make me earn money by blogging. :o

So, I wanted someone to love me. I feel empty. But I’m not THAT  pretty. I’m being picky. Tiny eyes… Too short… Too smart… Too dumb… Pimples… Scar on the face… but nobody is prefect right? I need to quite being picky and open up to the upcoming options.

Juniors…  batch mates… seniors… I don’t know. But sometimes, I can really be desperate.

That’s the effect of watching movies. Because life is NOT LIKE A MOVIE. Sometimes, I just can’t help to hope that my life is just like a movie with HAPPY ENDINGS. Excuse me for that. :x

That’s it. I’m doomed. I’m single, with no income, and alone. I’m not attractive. No guys like me. I’m just alone. I can still bear with it. This life. This lonely and empty love life life. I can do this. For now. 

Planning a birthday party

This is my first time planning a birthday party for someone. As Miss Siti Dahliah said, I only care about less than five people in my life. And if you are one of them, you are LUCKY.

So, I’m planning a birthday party for Jojo 4 hours before her birthday. I’m not exaggerating at all. But luckily, it’s not by luck. Jojo deserve awesome friends. So, everyone is willing to help out and did their part for her birthday.

From cake to venue, presents to invitations, everyone helped out. This is so sweet. The moral of the story is, if you are sincerely nice to your friend, they are willing to do anything for you. Aww…

Just to inform that the birthday party is a success, even I screwed up a few little bit of it by accidentally telling the surprise. xP But Jojo can totally understand it right?

She’s such a smart girl. Which I am very happy for her that she is. I have to make it clear. I DON’T LIKE DUMB PEOPLE AROUND ME. That’s a fact. Just like the fact that I’M A RACIST.

So, I hereby (super formal) wish all Jojo’s wishes comes true. Nothing feels better than your wish come true. Yes, I’m still living in my own fairy tale world.

I am male-resistance

I am so happy with my current state right now. No guys can make me suffer from tachycardia. I don’t even like any single guys now. I’m awesomely single and I’m not clinging to anyone. Not even my parents. My parents won’t be bothering me by now because first, they gave me my expenses. Second, I bought my flight ticket back. Third, they are busy working. Fourth, so-called out of sight, out of mind. Fifth, they have more important things to do for example earn more money for my future usage. Never say you have enough money and I’m not gonna work anymore! #kevjumba said Asian parents work for their whole life to pay for their children’s college fees. I totally agree with that. Thumbs up to Asian parents!

As you know, I hate responsibilities. But things that are happening nowadays are making my confidence in myself grow. :O

Back to topic. No matter how hot you find I am. (LOL. Perasan) I will not like you. No matter how much I used to like you, you won’t make me tremble a bit if you are 2 inches away from me now. I’m just. I have no feelings for guys right now.

I don’t have problem talking to guys. I don’t have problem looking into guys’ eyes. I have no fear. I am who I am. The best part is, I WON’T FALL FOR YOU. I am much more than that. People will be so shock. Jealous of me even. #girls

I don’t do stuff to “steal your boyfriend” as I am not interested in your boyfriend at all. Plus, my Principe is not to steal other peoples boyfriend OR GIRLFRIEND. I’m hetero. Just to let you know. xD I am just being myself. As you have problem about my dressing or what not, I don’t have other new blouse to wear that will suite your appetite. If you are so unhappy about the way I dress girls, buy me more clothes! LOL. I don’t mind wearing the clothes that you prefer me to wear. Provided if I like them.

I just want to let the world know that I’’m not into anybody now. No boys can come near me. I mean, of course they can come near me. But they don’t stand a chance. I’m not that fragile little “flower” anymore. I’m stronger after that relationship disaster. I’m stronger (I don’t know how many times should I repeat this) I am proud of myself.

Guys, you all just have to wait. When I say wait, that means, get out of my life!

Teehee. Thanks for reading, everyone. *less than three*

The one that makes me frown.

If by any chance, you are seeing me frowning when I’m doing nothing, I might be thinking of how annoying you are. No offense. 

Growing up

Growing up sucks when it comes to responsibilities. Proceeding to 2nd year sucks when it comes to SDLs. I hate it! Urgh!!! I need to accept the fact that I'm becoming a doctor soon and I need to start reading. So, START READING YOU F*CKING LAZY ASS!

Guys

They will stare at your boobs.

They will look at you once they pass by your seat.

They will wait for you to go online.

They will try to make you believe that you all think alike.

They will act macho in front of you.

They will not confess to you as they are as shy as girls do.

What to do after exam is over.

1. Sleep
2. Clean up the post-exam room
3. Change bed sheath
4. Watch lots of movies
5. Socialize
6. Go shopping
7. Walk around and get some fresh air
8. Have a 24/7 internet life
9. Start playing games
10. Do whatever you feel like doing

20th Birthday

Thanks J, L and C. Thanks for coming. Thanks for acting blur. Thanks for everything. I really enjoyed my night! Perfect birthday celebration! <3

Simple dinner, Butter chicken, Gobi manchurian and Roti.

From left: Chocolate lava, White forest, Mango cake, Butterscotch. 

My first time ever number candle! <3
Thanks L!!!

After we're done eating them. Chocolate lava and white forest = gone!

It's simple yet perfect! I love it!!! I love the mini chit chat. Most of all, I really get shocked when I entered Attils. You stalkers!!! Hahaha! Tachycardia la...Cortisol level increases immediately.

Well, in the morning, K gave me this.

He know's that I will be constantly hungry!

Nadia gave me Tomblerone.

During lunch, Lsl and SP gave me a cake and they sang Birthday song at 1.45pm!!! 

I'm such a chicken, buried my head and I don't dare to see them. My dear friend that actually sang for me!!!

Sorry for being such a chicken, my friends!

Thank you Rachel for the ornament. 

The whole celebration is superb! Thank you guys!!!

Thank you so so much! This is far most the most happening Birthday celebration ever. This is the most number of friends that did so much for me. Thank you so much!!!

Happy 20!

Roller coaster week

Sunday - Busy watching INTERNET ICON

Monday - Busy preparing notes for 2 SDLs (Pharmacology and Microbiology)

Tuesday - Busy preparing for MSP protocol.

Wednesday - Went to Dr. TMA Pai hospital, Udupi to do research for MSP and prepare for PBL.

Thursday - Finally touch up on MSP protocol and proforma.

Friday - Busy preparing for Microfest.

Saturday - Done with Microfest, start dealing with Chinese Orientation (oh yea! forgot to inform that I'm a chinese).

Not complaining, just sharing. TEEHEE! Ciao.

Over you, happy for you

Maybe it's an English educated thing. But you totally remind me of Leader S.
The way you speak, the choice of vocab. Totally the same.
Too bad you are too short. If not, I will totally introduce Leader S to you so that you all can be together forever. xD

I can totally predict what's gonna happen next and yes, I can handle you as I love Leader S. =')
You all are ONE AND THE SAME!

Just like me and BM!

Opps. Just lucky.

The pink apple is totally working. My eyebrows are working too.
Coke guy will look at my facial expression once in a while.
Juniors being real close to me for whatever reason.
Maybe I am really picky.
Small eyes - Beep
Juniors - Beep

You are right. I AM picky. =D
Picky is due to my eyebrows.
Without the shape of my eyebrows, most probably, I will be with some human that my friends and family won't approve. =O

So thanks again eyebrows, you make my mind clear. You make my love life less complicated. You make me happy. =D

I am literally learning how to be a girl

I've been spending time searching about girly topic and I learned a lot!
Never know that this is actually beneficial.
I'm gonna continue doing this until I'm sick of it.

xoxo
Being a girl

You're gonna make me lonesome when you go - Miley Cyrus

I've seen love go by my door
It's never been this close before
Never been so easy or so slow
I've been shooting in the dark too long
When something not right it's wrong
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go.

Dragon clouds so high above
I've only known careless love
It's always hit me from below
This time around it's more correct
Right on target so direct
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go.

Purple clover Queen Anne lace
Crimson hair across your face
You could make me cry if you don't know
Can't remember what I was thinking of
You might be spoiling me too much love
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go.

Flowers on the hillside blooming crazy
Crickets talking back and forth in rhyme
Blue river running slow and lazy
I could stay with you forever
And never realize the time.

Situations have ended sad
Relationships have all been bad
Mine've been like Verlaine's and Rimbaud
But there's no way I can compare
All those scenes to this affair
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go.

You're gonna make me wonder what I'm doing
Staying far behind without you
You're gonna make me wonder what I'm saying
Make me give myself a good talking to.

I'll look for you in old Honolulu
San Francisco, Ashtabula
You're gonna have to leave me now I know
But I'll see you in the sky above
In the tall grass in the ones I love
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go
You're gonna make me lonesome when you go.

You're gonna make me lonesome when you go.

***

I'm not that old me anymore.

You might think that I'm a stalker. But I'm much more better now. I'm not the stalker that I used to be. I don't stalk you anymore.

I'm surrounded with people that love me. I won't let you affect my life. I have my worth. I have my own value. I am valuable. I'm not a trash in your eyes.

You might treat me like trash. But you know what? I don't f*cking care about what you think. Because I am so much better than that.

I live my life and always will. I'll do whatever I want. I won't care about what you think because my world don't evolve around you.

I am stronger now. The best part of all, you didn't kill my tiny little heart. So, what does kill you makes you stronger. I am so much stronger than before. You can't do anything to harm me.

I love my life. I love my love ones. Screw you.

I like the way you...

I like the way you waited for me to go online. 

I like the way you gave me ideas.

I like the way you change me.

I like the way you cheer me up.

I like the way you spend time with me.

I like the way you support me when I'm having a tough time.

I like the way you inspire me.

I like the way you act around me.

I like the way you act around my family.

I like the way you think.

I like the way you act.

I like the way you talk.

I like the way you tell jokes.

I like the way you listen to my crappy story.

I like the way you advice me.

I like the way you wanted me to stay healthy.

I like the way you wish me my very best.

I like the way you support my eating habit.

I like the way you know me.

***

I'm such a whore

With a weak heart, I will easily feel shy and thought someone like me.
Wth man, perasan (over sensitive) much?
I hate myself for this.

But I have my eyebrows to help me.
I won't fall for him because he has numerous ex-girl friends.
Don't act tough and don't impress me because I am not easily impressed.

Out.

Internet Icon

I watched Internet Icon yesterday and I love LOVE it!
TEEHEE!
Not much to comment about.
It's just awesome and I will be incredible if you guys watch it too.
^^

Go Youtube and search Internet Icon.
Watch from Episode 1 to 10.
Feel happy.
THE END.

The pink apple and my eyebrows

Once, a wise old man told me not to shape my eyebrows. 

Last year, I shaped my eyebrows and I fell for so many guys. 

He said, someone with my eyebrows will only like someone older and wiser. 

But if I shaped my eyebrows, the shape will change and I will fall for nonsense people. =/

This year, I did not shape my eyebrows YET.

Although I have problems in my love life, but I'm still hanging there. 

I'm not as desperate as last year. 

Which is great! Thanks to my eyebrows. 

The pink apple is a pendant that I'm wearing right now.

Long long ago when I am still in Primary school, I always wanted one pink apple pendant.

Well, now that I can afford them, I bought one for myself.

It's said that pink crystal will help your love life. o_0

I didn't buy the pendant because I wanted a boyfriend or stuff.

It's my dream to have that pendant.

Totally innocent. 

Plus, I bought it in a Buddhist temple.

I don't know whether the pink apple is working it's "magic", but my eyebrows certainly do!

Long live special eyebrows! Thanks for getting me through this hard time. =)

Thinking of you - Katy Perry

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on 
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you 
What you would do if
You were the one 
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy 
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in 
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you 
What you would do if
You were the one 
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you 
What you would do if
You were the one 
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes 
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through 
And bust in the door 
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

***

The chase

There's coke guy, letter/facebook guy, camera guy, shadow guy, poker guy, lizard guy.

1. Although his eyes are super tiny, but he is sweet.
2. He talks crap but he is persistent.
3. He is pretty but it's difficult to capture what he really means.
4. Tried too hard.
5. My friend's ex-boyfriend.
6. Hot girlfriend.

1, 2, 6

Ruled out 6 because he is taken.

Only 1 and 2 are left.
But 1 is only a crush and 2 is my friend.

Conclusion, I'm single and suffering from the chase.

I have a weak heart

I'm super sensitive in all those lovey-dovey thingy. =X

First, there's love letters flying all the way from Australia to India.

Then, there's people trying to be manly and win every single battle.

Then, there's someone that will wait for me to go online so that he can chat with me. 

And the best of all, there's someone that listen to my favorite song and also provide the food that I need when I'm sad. 

I'm totally falling for the last guy. 

But it's just a 3 hours crush? 

xD 

But still, I like the way it makes me feel. ^^

I'm so crazy right now. 

But I must be practical. 

I won't marry him. 

So I won't be together with him. :)

Anyways, thanks for feeding me and cheer me up in your very special and sweet way. <3

I shall feel loved for the next 3 hours. :)

You've been watched

I dislike being watched.
It's like, you tried too hard to SQUEEZE in my visual field.
Maybe I'm over sensitive.
But you are every where. =.=

I'm not dumb.
When I want to ignore you or stay away from you, I certainly won't go near you.
Isn't it like an universal fact?

Please, step out of my life.
At least for now.

Taryn Southern

Jump then fall - Taylor Swift

I like the way you sound in the morning
We're on the phone and without a warning
I realize your laugh is the best sound
I have ever heard

I like the way I can't keep my focus
I watch you talk, you didn't notice
I hear the words but all I can think is
We should be together
Every time you smile, I smile
And every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby
Don't be afraid to
Jump then fall
Jump then fall into me
Be there, never gonna leave you
Say that you wanna be with me too
So I'm a stay through it all
So jump then fall

I like the way your hair falls in your face
You got the keys to me
I love each freckle on your face, oh
I've never been so wrapped up, honey
I like the way you're everything I ever wanted

I had time to think it oh, over
And all I can say is come closer
Take a deep breath then jump then fall into me
Cause Every time you smile, I smile
And every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Whoa oh, I'm feeling you baby
Don't be afraid to
Jump then fall
Jump then fall into me
Be there, never gonna leave you
Say that you wanna be with me too
So I'm a stay through it all
So jump then fall

The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet
I'll catch you, I'll catch you
And people say things that bring you to your knees
I'll catch you
The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry
But I'll hold you through the night until you smile

Whoa oh, I need you baby
Don't be afraid, please
Jump then fall
Jump then fall into me
Be there, never gonna leave you
Say that you wanna be with me too
So I'm a stay through it all
So jump then fall
Jump then fall baby
Jump then fall into me, into me

Every time you smile, I smile
And every time you shine, I shine
And every time you're here
Baby I'll show you, I'll show you
You can Jump then fall, jump then fall
Jump then fall into me, into me, yeah

***

A friend like you

I'm so grateful to have someone like you to talk to. Thanks for spending time with me on Facebook and Skype. Thanks for all the stories. Thanks for your time. Thanks, friend.

Who Am I Living For? - Katy Perry

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I can feel the pheonix inside of me

As I march alone to a different beat

Slowly swallowing down my fear

Yeah, yeah

I am ready for the road less travelled

Suiting up for my crowning battle

This is test is my own cross to bear

But I will get there

It's never easy to be chosen 

Never easy to be called

Standing on the front line

When the bombs start to fall

I can see heavens 

But I still hear the flames

Calling out my name

I can see the writing on the wall

I can't ignore this war

At the end of it all

Who am I living for

I can feel this light that's inside of me

Growing fast into a bolt of lightning

I know one spark will shock the world

Yeah, yeah

So I pray for favor like Esther

I need your strength to handle the pressure 

I know there will be sacrifice

But that's the price

It's never easy to be chosen

Never easy to be called

Standing on the front line

When the bombs start to fall

I can see heaven

But I still hear the flames

Calling out my name

I can see the writing on the wall

I can't ignore this war

At the end of it all

Who am I living for

Heavy is head that wears the crown

Don't let the greatness get you down

Oh yeah

I can see the writing on the wall

I can't ignore this war

At the end of it all

Who am I living for

***

Parasite

I don't need you.
I think you are the one that is being dependent to me.
Will you ever, even one millisecond think that I'll be better OFF you?
Maybe my life will be better without you.
Don't you think so?
I certainly did.

I don't need to wake up seeing your text messages.
That will ruin my day.
Just like it did today.
Awesome!
I don't need another problem in my life as if I am not having any problem in my life.

Maybe you are caring and you care of me.
But please, I don't need people to treat me like a baby.
Maybe I DO need someone to treat me like a baby.
But please, I'm very positive that the ONE is NOT YOU.

I think I made it very clear here.

I feel like blocking your cellphone number this morning.
But I didn't.
That will be rude.
But bugging me when I literally asked you not to?
Don't say I didn't warn you.

Psst!
Huge tips for you: STAY AWAY FROM A GIRL THAT JUST BROKE UP!

That one day that I hate

Which is today.

Date: 4th October 2012
Venue: Manipal, Karnataka, India.
Unfortunate event:

1. Stomach ache in such early morning (just like when I'm 10 years old)
2. Almost late to class.
3. Ran out of breath while climbing up to 4th floor using stairs humming Part of Me by Katy Perry.
4. Being depressed and unable to concentrate during lecture class after bad broke up yesterday night.
5. Being more depressed because I miss him.
6. The huge amount of money for hostel fee haven't reached my bank account after 6 days.
7. Having my very first Pathology PBL brainstorming. 
8. Suck-y PBL lecturer.
9. Have no appetite to eat lunch (due to suck-y break up)
10. Not knowing what is my bank account number.
11. Feeling sad to realized that my dad forgotten the steps to bank-in money for me.
12. Talked loudly in public trying to make the amount of money magically appears in my bank account.
13. Talked loudly to my mom because of the amount of money. 
14. Hate the fact that I talked rudely to my mom just because of money.

Fortunate event:

1. Aloo parota or Carrot parota for breakfast.
2. Being able to meet my friend for breakfast.
3. Lecturer did not ask me question.
4. Able to eat something during lunch.
5. Asked for extra fry bittergourd and they gave me! =D
6. Have a very good friend that did me a HUGE favor that settled my hostel fee problem. 
7. Finally settled hostel fees.
8. Saved my dad by being my mom's nagging tonight (greatest achievement)
9. Super grateful for those nice people around me.
10. Had a long bath that I've been longed for. 
11. Washed my labcoat. 
12. I'm feeling hungry - means I have appetite - means I'm gonna eat - means I'm no longer depress. 

I should really get going. I'm really hungry. 

The day might start okay, but I'm very grateful that it ended up okay or good instead! 

All time feelings: ok-good-depress-bad-bad-worst-ok-good

Overall feelings: grateful and happy and HUNGRY.